Brokenness
Brokenness was the theme of the second day of our trip. We talked about how each and every person in this world experiences brokenness, which is why it is important to be mindful of everyone's stories. I was reminded that no matter how "perfect Christian" I try to act, I am broken too, and therefore, I am not more put-together than anyone. When we understand that we are all broken individuals, we can serve more genuinely. We can meet others where they are with the honesty that our lives aren't perfect either instead of living the lie that we might need to stoop down to their level to help them. We can realize that sometimes people can't control the brokenness that happens in their own lives; bad things just happen sometimes. Chances are people act the way they do because of the things in their lives that are or have been broken.
That's the gist of what the day 2 devotion was about, but we also had a training session that correlated with brokenness. We talked about the kind of brokenness children who have been orphaned experience. The staff at Maria's wanted to do their best to allow us to understand, so they had us do a very simple activity that I would encourage you to do or at least think about while I am explaining. They gave us all sheets of paper with these questions on it:
When you were a child, who was the most important person in the world to you?
When you were a child, where was somewhere you felt safe?
When you were a child, what was something that brought you joy?
When you were a child, how were the memories of your childhood preserved?
We answered the questions, giving us all a person, place, thing, and idea as our answers. The leader of the activity got up to speak. She told us we were all going on a cruise together, and each of our answers represented luggage. But, oh no! We could only take three pieces of luggage, so we had to pick one to give up and tear off of the sheet of paper. We continued on our journey, but they realized the ship still couldn't hold all of it, so we had to pick a second thing to give up and tear off. We finally got everything on the boat and set sail, but then they realized we weren't going fast enough to make it to our destination on time, so we had to pick a third thing to give up and throw out. We make it to the destination, and the crew realizes that the rest of the luggage was lost. We are all there and in one piece, but we have nothing we brought with us, so we have to tear off that one final answer. Usually everyone's final thing that they would choose to give up is the person. A child who has been orphaned loses their safe place, their toys or other things that make them happy, and memories they would have had about their family, but the first thing they lose is the person--the thing that is hardest to give up. Our sheets of paper were left with a big hole where all the things we wrote down had been torn out. That hole represents the hole that all children who have been orphaned have in their lives. Everything in their lives is experienced through a giant hole.
We actually did this activity on the third day, but it illustrates brokenness to me so well that I had to include it in this post. If you were like me, you hadn't ever thought about it like that, and it moved you tremendously. But what moved me most about this discussion was the realization that the biological parents of children who have been orphaned also experience a different kind, but still intense form of brokenness. I don't like to admit it, and I didn't realize it until this training session, but I have always had a small amount of resentment or bitterness towards parents that give up their children and cause them to be orphaned. I have never thought that all parents that give up their children are terrible people who just didn't want their kid, but I hadn't realized how in most situations, the parents are literally forced to do it. It is a matter of choosing to keep their child and watch them suffer and die, or choosing to give them up and hope that there is someone else out there that can give them a life. There are so many different reasons, (poverty, government population control policies, AIDS, famine, not being able to afford medical care for a child with special needs, and the list can go on) especially in China and other developing countries, that parents have to make that decision. And what a terrible decision it is to have to make. I realized that if anything, I should feel SO SORRY for the parents that have to make that decision and should be praying my heart out for them and their healing.
This was such a good realization for me to have. It led to me recognizing that I don't always have the same heart for all people as I do for orphans. I can have patience, undertsanding, compassion, and my heart can break for kids around the world that don't have parents, but I could care less about the person next door going through a different kind of struggle. But God doesn't love some demographics more than others, and He doesn't call us to pick who to love most either. Like I talked about before, all people are broken, so they all deserve love. This was possibly the most important of the many important things that this trip taught me that will follow me through the rest of my life.
As far as time with the kids on the second day, I had the opportunity to go to Maria's Big House of Hope Preschool class. Preschool looks much different there than how I previously imagined preschool to look. Because most of the kids have special needs, a lot of the learning has to do with sensory development, movement, and very specifically tailored methods for each child. It was so incredible to see how the preschool teacher there knew the likes, dislikes, abilities, and struggles of each child I saw her interact with. It showed me how individual their needs are, how they each learn and interact with others differently, and therefore how each of their needs should be met differently (which goes for all people). Later, I had another encounter with the four month old little girl from the last post. (By the way, I apologize for not referencing the children more specifically. They do, of course have names and are each unique and special, but out of respect for the dignity and privacy of the children, we aren't supposed to release too much information.) SHE FELL ASLEEP IN MY ARMS. Pardon the excitement, but that's how I felt about it. Before then, I was unaware of how sweet it is to have a baby snuggle up to you and just go to sleep right there on your chest. And then that afternoon, I had ANOTHER toddler fall asleep while I was holding him after a long playtime that involved lots of feet tickling. What a special day.
That's the gist of what the day 2 devotion was about, but we also had a training session that correlated with brokenness. We talked about the kind of brokenness children who have been orphaned experience. The staff at Maria's wanted to do their best to allow us to understand, so they had us do a very simple activity that I would encourage you to do or at least think about while I am explaining. They gave us all sheets of paper with these questions on it:
When you were a child, who was the most important person in the world to you?
When you were a child, where was somewhere you felt safe?
When you were a child, what was something that brought you joy?
When you were a child, how were the memories of your childhood preserved?
We answered the questions, giving us all a person, place, thing, and idea as our answers. The leader of the activity got up to speak. She told us we were all going on a cruise together, and each of our answers represented luggage. But, oh no! We could only take three pieces of luggage, so we had to pick one to give up and tear off of the sheet of paper. We continued on our journey, but they realized the ship still couldn't hold all of it, so we had to pick a second thing to give up and tear off. We finally got everything on the boat and set sail, but then they realized we weren't going fast enough to make it to our destination on time, so we had to pick a third thing to give up and throw out. We make it to the destination, and the crew realizes that the rest of the luggage was lost. We are all there and in one piece, but we have nothing we brought with us, so we have to tear off that one final answer. Usually everyone's final thing that they would choose to give up is the person. A child who has been orphaned loses their safe place, their toys or other things that make them happy, and memories they would have had about their family, but the first thing they lose is the person--the thing that is hardest to give up. Our sheets of paper were left with a big hole where all the things we wrote down had been torn out. That hole represents the hole that all children who have been orphaned have in their lives. Everything in their lives is experienced through a giant hole.
We actually did this activity on the third day, but it illustrates brokenness to me so well that I had to include it in this post. If you were like me, you hadn't ever thought about it like that, and it moved you tremendously. But what moved me most about this discussion was the realization that the biological parents of children who have been orphaned also experience a different kind, but still intense form of brokenness. I don't like to admit it, and I didn't realize it until this training session, but I have always had a small amount of resentment or bitterness towards parents that give up their children and cause them to be orphaned. I have never thought that all parents that give up their children are terrible people who just didn't want their kid, but I hadn't realized how in most situations, the parents are literally forced to do it. It is a matter of choosing to keep their child and watch them suffer and die, or choosing to give them up and hope that there is someone else out there that can give them a life. There are so many different reasons, (poverty, government population control policies, AIDS, famine, not being able to afford medical care for a child with special needs, and the list can go on) especially in China and other developing countries, that parents have to make that decision. And what a terrible decision it is to have to make. I realized that if anything, I should feel SO SORRY for the parents that have to make that decision and should be praying my heart out for them and their healing.
This was such a good realization for me to have. It led to me recognizing that I don't always have the same heart for all people as I do for orphans. I can have patience, undertsanding, compassion, and my heart can break for kids around the world that don't have parents, but I could care less about the person next door going through a different kind of struggle. But God doesn't love some demographics more than others, and He doesn't call us to pick who to love most either. Like I talked about before, all people are broken, so they all deserve love. This was possibly the most important of the many important things that this trip taught me that will follow me through the rest of my life.
As far as time with the kids on the second day, I had the opportunity to go to Maria's Big House of Hope Preschool class. Preschool looks much different there than how I previously imagined preschool to look. Because most of the kids have special needs, a lot of the learning has to do with sensory development, movement, and very specifically tailored methods for each child. It was so incredible to see how the preschool teacher there knew the likes, dislikes, abilities, and struggles of each child I saw her interact with. It showed me how individual their needs are, how they each learn and interact with others differently, and therefore how each of their needs should be met differently (which goes for all people). Later, I had another encounter with the four month old little girl from the last post. (By the way, I apologize for not referencing the children more specifically. They do, of course have names and are each unique and special, but out of respect for the dignity and privacy of the children, we aren't supposed to release too much information.) SHE FELL ASLEEP IN MY ARMS. Pardon the excitement, but that's how I felt about it. Before then, I was unaware of how sweet it is to have a baby snuggle up to you and just go to sleep right there on your chest. And then that afternoon, I had ANOTHER toddler fall asleep while I was holding him after a long playtime that involved lots of feet tickling. What a special day.
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